We’ve all been there.
Sitting, listening to the best man, or father of the bride, or maid of honour ramble uncontrollably for what seems like forever!
I’ve sat through a 45min speech before!
You know the signs,
they either don’t have any notes...
Or they have 20 pages of notes!
Both are signs you’re in for a long speech!
Well if you’re here that probably means you’ve been asked to write a speech
and you’re freaking out.
Being that the last time you probably wrote a speech was in grade 8 talking about sleep apnea or white tail deer, or global warming, you have good reason to be nervous.
But I’m going to help you!
As a wedding videographer I have witnessed many speeches.
I can say with confidence that I have heard the good, the bad, and the ugly.
So I have put together do's and don't's when writing your speech
and yes, that is secretly the first tip!
WRITE THE DAMN THING!
Please do not get tipsy and wing it at the podium…. Please!
How to nail your intro!: I'm going against the many articles I've read about speeches but don't open with:
“For those that don’t know me I’m…. blah blah blah
"Hi everyone, Im Britt, the bride's sister"
This is my least favorite opening and 90% of speeches start with it!
You can creatively tell the audience who you are without starting so flat, tell a story.
Example: "If you would have told me the red headed, freckle faced kid I met in Kindergarten would be my best friend of 25 years, I wouldn’t have believed you!"
We all know exactly how they met and the connection! Boom!
For the father: "when I first held you in my arms I envisioned you getting ready for your first date, you graduating, you buying your first car, and finally I envisioned walking you down the aisle. And that day was today!"
Boom! We know exactly who it is – father of the bride duh!
The Secret Sauce
Keep it simple, stupid!
3 main points:
Talk about the bride, talk about the groom, TALK ABOUT THEM TOGETHER!
I cannot stress this enough TALK ABOUT THEM TOGETHER!. I have listened to many speeches that focus on just the bride or just the groom, they never come full circle and talk about them together!
Which is kind of the point of the whole wedding thing to begin with. 😅
NO INSIDE JOKES
Yes you heard me, skip the inside jokes!
90% of the people listening to your speech wont know what you are talking about,
they will immediately disengage or start talking amongst themselves to figure out the joke.
People are curious by nature so don’t send your audience off on a tangent
Do Not Example: "I love you, my pink flamingo… omg remember that time in cuba, ya know, we went on that random guys pontoon and blacked out… oh haha sorry mom and dad… I guess you had to be there."
Skip that shit!
That doesn’t mean you can’t tell a story! Please tell a story!
The best stories will have a purpose behind them, they’ll tie back to the wedding and back to the couple. Don’t tell a story just to tell a story...
I’ll share a great story example below. The best man told a story about him and the groom ice picking and how he was so happy to have the groom there because he could rely on him and trust him.
Then he brings it full circle and addresses the bride and says I can’t imagine you having a better person to look out for you and a better partner in life.
Watch it below!
GOLD, ABSOLUTE GOLD!
Another idea is sharing the day you found out they were dating, your first impression, or the day they got engaged (you can add some humour).
It's very easy for you to tie that back to the couple.
Think of your speech as sharing your puzzle piece in their lives! Each person who gives a speech is adding to the bride and groom's puzzle.
Once you’ve touched on your 3 points (something about the bride, something about the groom, and something about the two of them together) finish with a toast!
"To the bride and groom blah blah blah"
The most engaging speeches I’ve listened to are usually 5-7mins long. Don’t be afraid to trim some of the fat once you’ve written it. 5 mins is plenty!
No one has ever said “The reception was great but the best man's speech was too short”
Don’t be afraid of the short and sweet!
My last tip is to have your speech on paper, so many people get up to the podium with it on their phone and they're squinting to read it 🧐
or their nervous fingers tap out of their notes app 🙃
or they're trying to hold the mic and scroll at the same time which is a challenge.
Trust me, have it printed out!
You're ready to write your kick-ass wedding speech! May the odds be ever in your favour Whether you nail it... or not....
I'll still be there to capture it! 😉